


Coin Locker Baby

by charcolor



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: (this isn't related to my other maretu fic. even though it still involves demonizing kaito.), Child Abandonment, Child Death, Gen, Heartbreak, MARETU - Freeform, Reincarnation, Spirits, Suicide, depressed teens love angst. so this story doesn't have a happy ending either)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2018-12-30 12:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12108735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charcolor/pseuds/charcolor
Summary: It could have all been okay. Miku Hatsune really didn't mind having a baby, as long as she got to raise it with the love of her life. She believed in him so much, she never imagined what would happen if he ever betrayed her.(Based on the songs Coin Locker Baby, White Happy and Rebirth, in that order)





	1. Miku's Secret

I was never too popular growing up.

Of course, most girls in my school are much more interested in their education than social life. Something about me is different. I can't always focus in class, and I barely passed the high school entrance exam. I don't think that makes me stupid, I'm just not good at learning.

My parents work a lot, so they rarely get a chance to help me with my schoolwork, or spend time with me at all. So I gave up trying to improve. I'm passing all my classes, even if barely, and that's all that really matters.

That's probably why I've turned to trying to find friends. I haven't had much luck, though, since everyone's more concerned with their academic life. That's understandable, but it's still disappointing.

I struck some luck last week, though. I met a boy on the train who graduated last year. I don't know what about me made him approach me. That's never happened before, and I don't know why it would happen on the train.

He introduced himself as Kaito. He offered to help me with my studying. Of course, I accepted. We exchanged numbers before talking about school, and friends.

Kaito's like me. It's hard for him to make friends, but since he did so well in high school he has a chance to befriend students like me by helping them. I'm glad he's so honest. I want to be his friend too.

I'm home alone as usual when he knocks at my door. I look up at him as I open it. He's a few inches taller than me, but he's still about as thin as me. He has a stack of notebooks under his left arm. "Your hair looks nice today," he says with a warm smile.

I feel a blush rise in my face as I thank him and lead him to my bedroom. It's a mess, with trinkets and clothes scattered about, but there's space on the pale wooden floor for us to sit together.

It goes well. He helps me understand things I've totally given up on, and the way he speaks to me in a low, warm voice makes my heartbeat quicken. Do I have a crush on him? He is pretty charming. It could just be anxiety. I've never really been in love, so it's hard to tell what that feels like. After a few hours, we agree to meet up every Saturday from now on. It's a little sad when he leaves. I feel lonelier now that I know what it feels like to be with him.

Luckily, Saturdays become something to look forward to. As planned, we have study sessions together every week. Every time I feel just a bit more infatuated with him. Yes, I think I really am in love. And from the way he looks and smiles at me, I think he might feel the same. In fact, after about a month and a half, Kaito offers to have a session at his house instead.

"I live alone," he says over the phone, as I stand on the platform at the train station. "My family is pretty well-off, so I was able to move out as soon as I finished school."

"That must be so nice," I reply, keeping my voice soft so as to not disturb the other people nearby. "Do you have a job?"

"Not right now, but I'm looking for one." He pauses, but before I can respond with anything he asks, "Are you wearing your gray jacket?"

I smile. I have a few jackets, but the gray one is my favorite. It's soft and light with cute black buttons in the center, but it still has big useful pockets where I keep my spare change. "Yes."

"Oh, good. How long until the train arrives?"

I pull my phone away from my ear briefly to check the time, then lift it back to answer. "About ten minutes. I probably could've gotten here later."

"Can you check your pockets?"

I scrunch my eyebrows in puzzlement, while digging my free hand in my pockets. My left pocket has nothing in it. My right hand has a few coins...and something else with a different shape. I pull it out. "There's a locker key in here," I tell Kaito, who giggles.

"If you have enough time to spare, can you use it to open locker one three nine? There's a surprise."

Kaito hangs up, leaving me no choice but to do what he says. I should be able to get to the locker and back in time for the train, they aren't that far away.

I head back toward where the coin lockers are located. Locker 139 is easy to locate. The key hole is empty, so I twist my locker key in it to pull open the door.

It's full of photos. Pictures me and Kaito took together, and pictures of me by myself, apparently taken by Kaito without me noticing. There's a small piece of notepad paper in the center, with clear characters written in dark blue marker:

"HI MIKU. I LIKE YOU A LOT. WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?"

I knew it. Somehow, I knew he felt like this. It's so wonderful. I try to halt my thoughts as I quickly gather all the photos into a neat pile, stuff them and the note in my left pocket, and rush back to the platform. Once I'm back, I let my thoughts run again, with imagination of what to do with Kaito after studying, wondering what his lips taste like, or how it feels to hold him in an embrace...

When I finally arrive at Kaito's house, he opens the door before I can even knock. He's dressed differently from usual. Normally he wears a dapper buttoned-up shirt and nice dark pants, but right now it looks like he just woke up. He's wearing a loose tank top and big soft shorts. But his dark blue hair is still neatly groomed, and his kind grin is as beautiful as always. "I was too excited to get dressed," he chuckles.

"It's okay. You look good in anything."

As I hoped, he opens his arms, and I approach him to wrap my arms around his waist. His hands softly grab my hips, and his lips softly touh the top of my head. Then he pulls me into his simple living room, with a couch, lamp, coffee table and television. The dark brown coffee table has his notebooks spread out on top. After I slip off my gray jacket and toss it at the armrest, we plop on the couch together, and as always I tell him about how school's been this week.

The session starts out normally, but about half an hour later I notice something strange about Kaito. He stretches his arms up and puts one around me, pulling me closer to him on the seat. "You're doing great," he whispers, so close my whole body tingles. I lean in closer to him and then fall back onto his lap. He starts to gently stroke my stomach back and forth. It's oddly relaxing. My body starts to feel warm, and my heart starts beating a little quicker as his hand starts getting close to my chest.

I think I see where this is going. I've never thought of anyone this way, but this must be what it feels like. Thinking about it just makes me feel even hotter. I sit up and pull off my camisole over my head to cool off. I see Kaito smile as he reaches his hands around me to undo my bra. It drops in the floor, and Kaito hugs me again.

We pull apart and look in each other's eyes. My heart is beating so strangely, full of desire. I think Kaito feels the same way.

Of course, I end up spending the night in his house, in his bed. I don't think too strangely of it. I just feel happy and warm. His arms are around me as I fall asleep. I think this might be what love feels like. Protection and passion.

Over the next two months I start feeling more and more strange. But I don't think much of it. I've missed periods before, and I've thrown up in the morning before. But then one day at school, something unfamiliar and unexpected happens. In class, I start feeling dizzy, but I'm scared to let anyone know. A little before the class period ends, I lose consciousness.

When I tell Kaito about it the following Saturday, his face turns pale. "Have you missed your period lately?" he asked.

I think for a moment. "Yes, but I don't think that means much. I've missed periods before."

"Well...I think you should make sure that...you know...you're not pregnant."

It feels odd to be a teenage girl buying a pregnancy test, but the cashier doesn't seem to mind. As soon as I get back home, I use it. It's as Kaito thought. I'm pregnant. And since he's the only one I've ever had sex with, it must be Kaito's.

It makes sense. Throwing up in the morning was a result of morning sickness, and I think my stomach has gotten a little bigger over the past couple of months. For a moment I'm scared. I'm only sixteen. Am I really ready to be a mother? If I go through with this, I'd have to drop out of school, putting all that studying Kaito helped me with to waste.

I decide to call him. He picks up immediately, and asks, "Did you take a test? Are you pregnant?"

"Yes," I tell him. "But what does that mean for my future?"

"Can't you get an abortion?"

"I could, but...having a baby doesn't seem that bad." I gently guide my hand over my stomach where the baby is growing. "I'd have to drop out of high school. I don't want to put all that studying to waste."

After a pause, Kaito sighs and says, "The truth is, I only wanted to get close to you. So if you want to have a baby instead, that's fine by me."

I smile. A burden is lifted from my heart that I didn't even know was there. "I do. I want to have a family with you, Kaito."

"That sounds wonderful."

I think this might be what my aspiration has always been. After all, my parents are never around to help me with my schoolwork, and I've never been as good of a student as my peers. Besides, Kaito's really the only friend I've made, and he doesn't go to my school. I don't think I was ever meant to even go to high school, and I just passed the entrance exam by dumb luck. Even if I didn't need to drop out now for my baby, I'd probably end up failing everything anyway.

Of course, even though my parents are distant, I can tell they genuinely care about me, and they'd be shocked and appalled if they found out about my baby. "I don't want to tell anyone about this," I tell Kaito. "I'll drop out of school and stay in the dark. Maybe I'll run away to live with you, and we can have our family."

"I think I'd like that," Kaito replies.

So the next day, I don't leave for school. I drag an old suitcase out from my closet, and toss in all my clothes, then some toiletries and money. It's all ready to go when I remember the used pregnancy test. Where did I put that? I can't let my parents find it, even if it's in the trash.

I feel filthy when I rummage through the trash bin to find the pregnancy test. I rinse it and quickly shove it in the front pocket of my suitcase, and then I leave for the last time to the train station.

* * *

Kaito agrees to let me hide in his house until the baby is born, but he says I should probably go to the hospital once I'm in labor, since he doesn't know how to deliver babies. That's fine by me. By that time, everything will have probably blown over.

But after he gets a new job, I notice he starts becoming more distant. He leaves the house more often, and he spends less time with me. It's understandable, but he never seems to want to talk about work. He brings me gifts as an apology, so I know he really cares about me.

Then after nine months of being cooped up in Kaito's house, I hear a small, soft pop, followed by what feels like a trickle in my panties. Kaito's in the room with me when this happens, and his eyes widen.

We get to the hospital as soon as possible to get the baby delivered. For a few hours all I can experience is an excruciating pain, crawling all throughout my body. It's a wonder I don't pass out. And then, the baby is here.

A girl.

I have a daughter.

We have a daughter.

It's December fourth, and the first thing I can really focus my eyes on after my newborn daughter is the snow falling by the window. I've always liked snow. It's beautiful.

"I want to name her Yuki," I tell Kaito, who smiles and nods.

Kaito has to leave right away for work, so for now I'm alone with Yuki. Her hair still hasn't grown, and her little eyes are squeezed shut. I hold her close, listening to her soft heartbeat against my own. It's so breathtaking to think that this living, breathing girl came from me, from us. This is our love, wrapped up in a baby. I don't care about my education or my parents anymore. This is my future now.

For the next week or so I don't see Kaito at all. It's strange. It's clear he's as happy as I am about our family. Why hasn't he come to see Yuki at all? Why hasn't he come to see me? When I step out of the hospital, with Yuki in my arms, my only option is to walk home. I don't have the money for a bus or train, and I don't have my phone to call Kaito. And as if that wasn't inconvenient enough, it's raining. I shield Yuki with my arms, hugging her close to my chest as I quickly walk alone the sidewalk.

Luckily, I know the way to Kaito's house from here. I asked the staff for directions. The only problem is I have to walk past a cafe. It's raining, so people probably won't be outside, but they could still see me through the windows. A small girl holding a baby while being covered in rain is kind of a concerning sight. But once I get close to the cafe, I stop walking. It's even worse than what I worried about.

Only two people are outside. One is a slender woman with long, beautiful brown hair and a tight-fitting red turtleneck with a black skirt. She's incredibly beautiful, and much more mature and attractive than I could ever be.

The other person is Kaito.

They're leaning against the side of the building, holding hands. They're talking, but I can't hear their words over the sound of rain. Suddenly the woman lets go of Kaito's hand, and turns to trap him to the wall, caging him with her long arms. He smiles and reaches his arms around her neck, and they lean in...

"Kaito...?" I call at him, but he doesn't seem to react. I blink rain out of my eyes before walking toward them. "Kaito?" I yell, a bit louder. Now they pull away, and stare at me.

Kaito's eyes look so strange. They look so dull and cold.

"What are you doing with this woman?" I ask, holding Yuki tighter.

Kaito smiles, but not like always. It's wide, showing the faintest gleam of his teeth. "I got what I wanted from you. I don't need you anymore. Did you think I actually loved you?"

I feel my body freeze up. Yuki is breathing softly in my trembling arms, so blissfully unaware. I choke out a response. "What are you talking about?"

The woman glares at me through narrow brown eyes, and the smile of a cobra spreading across her face. She looks back at my Kaito and giggles...

I can't see what happens next. Hot tears are filling my vision. Holding Yuki tightly to my chest, I run as fast as I can for the last time to Kaito's house.

Of course, I have to leave. But I'm startled when I see my suitcase sitting on the doorstep. Only Kaito could have put this here. I twist the doorknob, but almost immediately it stops on a lock.

He planned all of this. Everything we had was a lie since the moment our eyes first met.

I gaze down at the baby girl in my arms, letting my tears drip onto her soft, angelic face. This was my love. Kaito gave me everything in this little package, and then left with a numbing emptiness in my heart, shaking my whole body.

Yuki's eyelids slowly pull apart, revealing small, light brown eyes that stare up at me. Instantly, it reminds me of how he made me feel. For the rest of my life, this girl is going to be a reminder of what Kaito did to me. And I can't live that life.

The coin lockers.

I can't let myself see this girl again. I hold her tight to my chest with one arm and pull the suitcase with the other as I rush to the train station. It's not as busy as usual, which means I can do this quickly and get it over with.

"I'm sorry, Yuki," I whisper, as I approach the locker. I unzip my suitcase at the front pocket. There's still coins inside. I deposit them and open the locker.

I glance back at my suitcase. There are other things in that pocket. Remnants of those cursed memories. Photos of us, and that goddamn pregnancy test.

I shove handfuls in the locker, a wall of bedding for Yuki to stay until someone finds her. I look back in her clueless eyes one last time, as I sit her in the locker...

I squeeze my eyes closed, and slam the locker door.

* * *

The next day passes as normally as it could in these circumstances. My parents hug me, saying they've missed me so much and they're so sorry for not being there for me. I don't want to tell them what happened. I want to put everything behind me. I'm not in school anymore, but otherwise I can live like a regular girl now. That burden is gone. The poison from his touch is still inside me, but I think with time it will go away.

I stay home for the whole day, cooped up in my bedroom. My parents try to spend some time with me, and although I'm willing to play games with them and listen to stories, nothing they say will convince me to tell them what happened.

My bed is softer than I've ever remembered. I feel myself drifting away in the warm comfort wrapping around me...and slipping into an awful scene.

I don't know how long it takes for me to see her silhouette in the blinding dark. The tiniest glimmer of light is reflecting off the outline of her small, scrawny body. She's nauseatingly thin, and her long dark hair is tangled and matted. Upon hearing my echoing footsteps, her head turns. I have never seen this girl before, but looking into the hauntingly empty eyes, glowing in the darkness yet dull and weak, I know her.

"Mama..." her voice croaks, reaching a bony hand out to me. "Mama...Mama..."

I hold my hands to my ears on instinct, but her voice rings throughout the world, louder with each repitition, until it gradually becomes a strained scream. It seems like it's some kind of infinite torture, but I don't know where I am, or why this is happening. I don't think about it until I escape into the waking world, greeted by reassuring sunlight peeking through my curtains.

Someone must have taken her by now...right?

I should check. I left the key in the lock, so as long as someone has the change they need they should be able to get her out of there. But...I have to check. Just one last time, and then I'll be free of that burden forever. I'll never have to tell anyone about it. I can forget her name, and his name too. I'll leave it behind so it becomes a numb, empty memory.

My parents are sleeping, so I pull a black jacket out of my closet and shove some coins in the pocket. I close the door as quietly to the possible before making a run for the train station. Of course, it's a different station than the one where she's at, so I'll have to make a round trip. It feels like hours before the train stops. It's strange. I feel like I'm missing a feeling that I'm supposed to have when I step down to the platform, but I think I know what that feeling is, so I try to drop that thought and make my way to locker 139.

The key is still in there. That realization makes me stiffen up, but it can't mean anything awful, right? It could be empty. Empty lockers always have keys in them. And if someone found a lost baby all of a sudden, they probably wouldn't carry on storing their luggage.

I deposit the coins, and when I twist the lock, I hear a soft bump on the door.

She can't still be in there, right?

With shuddering hands, I yank open the door. And when I see her, I feel my heart leap into my throat. I feel myself scream, but all I can hear is ringing in my ears, all I can see is her.

Open, empty eyes. Sickening blue, stiff skin. A chilling touch. Those are the last things I remember before my vision is filled with fuzzy darkness.

My secret, my burden, that poisoned love...everyone knows now. And this demon is going to haunt my dreams again, and I'll never stop hearing my daughter screaming of pain and despair.

God, Yuki, I'm so sorry. None of this was your fault. And all I want now is to be reborn with you, so you can have another chance...


	2. Yuki's Spirit

I didn't realize it until now, but I've been very sheltered.

For the last nine years, I've been living with my mother at home. I've never gone to school. In fact, I've never really left the house. My mother's taught me everything I ever knew. That's not surprising, though. She's the only person I've ever looked at, unless you count my reflection.

There's a lot of things I never knew. If I knew children are supposed to look like their mothers, I'd be really confused. I have black hair and light brown skin, while my mother has very light hair, almost white. Her skin is much lighter than mine, too. My eyes are brown and hers are bluish-purple. And if I knew children were supposed to have two parents instead of one, I'd assume I had another one that looks more like me, and then abandoned the family. Also, usually people eat food to survive. I haven't ever done that. Of course I've eaten food, but not very often. It's usually little things like candy or apples, or candy apples. My mother doesn't eat at all. Sometimes I even forget that food even exists.

There's too many things to list, but I think the most important thing to mention is that I'm dead. I didn't really understand that at first. I certainly don't remember ever dying, but my mother says that when I was a baby, I died in another world, and then I became her child. I don't really get it though. 

"What world did I die in?" I ask.

"Earth," she answers, her voice as soft yet icy as usual.

"And what world is this one?"

She pauses, and glances up for a second in thought. Then she says, "I suppose this would be called Hell."

"Whose child did I used to be?"

At this, my mother smiles, and grasps my hand. "It would be best to take you on a trip."

I always like leaving the house, since I don't do it often, but now it just feels like she's avoiding the question. "I want to know," I tell her, trying to make my voice firm.

"Patience, Yuki. You'll see the answer soon."

The whole world is a void until we step outside. As always, a colorful light blurs in my vision, before clearing to a long train track, my bare feet planted in the center. I realize my hands are empty.

"Mother?" I look around, but no one is here. Being so close to the platform normally means people milling about, especially in what looks like a bustling city. But other than the silent, unmoving train, this place is vacant. My mother must have gone home, or gone elsewhere to run an errand. All I can do is wait for what she wants to show me. I walk over to the empty platform, into the train station and sit by a row of coin lockers.

Time passes. I never learned how to tell time the right way, but it feels like hours and my mother still hasn't returned. I stand up again and, out of boredom, examine the lockers. One locker catches my eye. It looks exactly like all the other lockers, but I'm compelled to look closer. There's a strange aura to this locker. 

The number is 139.

I brush my hand against the locker door. My nerves have always been almost completely numb, but from what I can tell it's cold metal. I can't open it, since I can't move anything unless I'm home, but I can look inside.

I manage to curl up my whole body in this locker. I like it. It's dark, like home. Something smells strange, though. Strange and familiar. A very strong scent of metal. Usually, I don't sense things like this. Why is this locker so different? And why do I want to stay so badly?

The longer I sit in this familiar darkness, the more my nerves feel. It's cold and cramped in this little locker. The only light comes from the slit under the door, but even that fades as time goes on. The air starts to feel disgusting, choking my throat. I've never thought about what it would feel like to suffocate, but all I can do is curl up inside this locker and accept this strangling air until the darkness of home washes over me. And maybe my mother will come get me. Maybe she'll rescue me from this locker. I wait to see her hair, long and bright turquoise, flow around her as she lifts me into her slender, tawny beige arms.

No--my mother has light blonde hair and fair skin.

I hug my legs waiting to dream.

Where are you, Mama?

And then I think back to a memory that wasn't there before. Her arms lifting me into the locker, and staring for a moment, tears beginning to leak from her wide, teal eyes. Then they close, and more tears fall, and she shuts the door harshly, leaving me in cramped darkness.

I push my hand against the door. It seemed fine just a moment ago, but now I see it's fragile, the skin clinging tightly around each bone. "Mama..." When I call for her, it's strained and weak. "Mama...!" And it's suddenly bursting with desperation to be in her world again.

The locker is so tight, crumpling my whole body into this tiny space. When I call for Mama again, it's inaudible. I can't speak. I can't breathe.

For a moment, I let everything go numb, and then I slip into a dream.

A dream of being held by Mama, who's looking straight ahead in shock. I can't see what she sees. I can only watch her until her lips part. "Kaito...? Kaito?" Without moving her eyes away, she brings me closer to her body. "What are you doing with this woman?"

A man's sharp voice speaks from somewhere behind me. "I got what I wanted from you. I don't need you anymore. Did you think I actually loved you?"

But what did he want? What did he need? I want to ask, but I can't move any part of me. I can only breathe in Mama's scent. She smells like peppermint. Her body stiffens, but she still holds onto me as she asks, "What are you talking about?"

I don't hear a response, but something makes Mama's eyes widen and shimmer. She runs for some time before stopping and gasping. Her distressed gaze slowly lowers to look at me as her arms tremble around me. She blinks, not moving her stare away, and her tears fall along her round cheeks and drip onto mine. They're burning, but I don't scream. Even when they grow hotter and hotter until they spread to my eyes, and I'm in the locker again.

Mama left me in this locker alone, on purpose, didn't she?

"You would have ruined her life." A soft, vaguely familiar whisper fills my ears, echoing against the cold locker walls. "You were nothing but a reminder of her sins and regret. So she threw away your soul for the sake of her own."

I want to say sorry. I want her back. 

"Her world is full of sinners. But you are pure. You were taken when you were a baby, untouched by evil. Your purity has been preserved as you've grown into a child. But she would never care. She only wants to ignore her sins rather than have them forgiven."

If she sees me now, she wouldn't think of me as the same baby I was nine years ago. I would be different. She wouldn't have to regret me.

"No, Yuki. Time has stopped in this world for nine years. But soon you will be ready for time to continue. You are already dead, but soon you will be with her again. And she will know exactly what she has done."

I do want to be with her, but as much as I long for her love, there is a prick of resentment, knowing I wasn't good enough to make up for what I came from. I don't know what to do. If I go back to my mama, I'll be in a horrible world that I can never escape from.

And why would she even want me? Even if she doesn't recognize me as her baby, she wouldn't want to adopt a child she doesn't know, would she? I'd have to tell her I belong to her. And then she'd throw me away again.

"You don't seem to understand, Yuki. You are already dead. You cannot be brought back to this world as anything more than a wandering spirit. However, there is a way to bring her into your world. And I will do so, for you."

I blink, and my vision clears. The locker is still dark, but something feels different. Something dry and stiff and cold is inside my essence. When I close my eyes, I see the unmoving infant, smiling lifelesslely, its dull, colorless body already molting away. Somehow, I know what this is. It's what I used to be before I was brought to a safe world.

Before I died.

Is that how Mama will be?

Then that's fine. She threw my life away. She shut me in a cold, dark abyss. So she should come with me, right?

And I'll see her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has been finished for a while, but i haven't felt completely satisfied with it, you know? but then i realized this whole idea is really convoluted anyway, so it doesn't matter in the long run, i guess


	3. Ia's Sacrifice

It seems I have many names.

When I present myself like the beautiful mother of little Yuki, my name is Ia. I think I prefer that name the most. It's short and sweet. But people tend to know me by the sinful essence of my existence that belonged to the Devil.

So they call me the Devil. And maybe I am. Maybe I am just a manifestation of Lucifer, or Satan, or however you address him. Or perhaps I am one of his nameless, demonic minions.

But as far as I know, I am, more or less, a woman, who's lived her whole life roaming the earth looking for something, some _one_ I can easily take with me.

At some point in my endless empty existence, I heard the echoes of a lost child crying for Mama. I saw my chance. I stopped time in the living world, and took her to my own.

After I had her home, I used the rest of my day to learn about the situation, by viewing the history of the living world. The child's name was Yuki. Her last name was either Shion or Hatsune. Shion belonged to her father Kaito Shion, who took advantage of a sixteen-year-old girl named Miku Hatsune.

Kaito had been dating a woman named Meiko. The situation with Miku was motivated by some sort of challenge imposed by Meiko. That woman carried a grudge against the Hatsune household. From what I can tell, Meiko's father had once been in love with Miku's mother, but she rejected him, and Meiko was raised with lies of how evil the Hatsune family was.

"If you really love me," Meiko had told him, "you'll ruin her life."

"Give me a year," Kaito had responded. "It'll be spectacular."

Kaito wanted to make sure Miku actually had their child before betraying her. That way, she wouldn't be able to abort the baby. It was a flawless plan. A flawless, revolting plan. And Miku was so distraught, she went with her impulse. She shut her daughter in a coin locker and waited to forget that delusion of love she experienced.

That was the night I found Yuki. And I kept the living world frozen in time for nine years as I wiped away her frozen tears, and pondered how to use this little girl to begin a world of my own.

Finally, I realized the key to my desires. Yuki's mother. If she were to die, I would catch her, too. But how could I, an incorporeal being, drive her to that fate?

I wouldn't. Yuki would. She'd draw her mother to her abandoned body, then everything would fold out from there.

I brought her to the train station, still as a corpse, and waited for her to wander over to locker 139. As expected, being united with her cold, colorless shell, she began to remember how she came to the locker. She lost sentiment in me as she started crying for Miku.

And I waited until I knew, somewhere in a dream, the cries were heard.

I told Yuki how we would bring her mother home. And finally, after nearly a decade of lifelessness, I let time move again.

It isn't surprising to see Miku show up the next day, followed by a piercing shriek of anguish when she finds Yuki's body. Behind Miku's violently shuddering body, I see Yuki watching her, with narrow, empty eyes. She must know by now what's going on. And as I hoped, she feels no sympathy.

Miku pulls herself to her feet, clutching the corpse to her chest. She raises her eyes, and for a second it seems she's staring right into mine.

Then she walks, and I find the train tracks to wait.

Heads turn, but Miku doesn't seem to see. Her eyes are staring straight ahead. Yuki walks beside her, her little translucent hand gripping the sleeve of Miku's dampened sweatshirt. The train is coming. Miku knows. She steps down from the platform, tightening her arms around the body. Bystanders are starting to get alarmed. One of them jumps down and starts to desperately yell for her to stop. Another grabs Miku's hood, but she pulls away easily.

She steps onto the steel, and just as we all anticipated, the train hits.

Time seems to slow as I watch Miku's body fling toward me. I'm sure there's a clamor of utter horror filling the throats of all the human beings watching a girl die like this, but I have a habit of tuning it all out. Yuki stands still at the side of the tracks, seemingly staring right into Miku's eyes as they dull into lifelessness.

"It's time to bring her into your world," I announce to her. She nods, but keeps her eyes fixed on Miku.

It seems easy to claim spirits like this, but I can assure you it isn't. Usually, when people die, they are already determined for a certain fate, and I can't claim them. When they aren't so set on their afterlife, someone else, probably an angel or a demon, claims them before I do. I happened to be the first to find Yuki. Once I found my first spirit, my next target was meant to be the only one who showed her even an ounce of love. Ironic, how Yuki's now brimming with hatred for that person, but it can't end in any other way. If Yuki still cared about Miku, she wouldn't let this happen. And this  _needs_ to happen.

The reason I can grasp Miku's hand without it slipping away because the only thing she desires is in my posession. Her heart would reject any other fate.

Once I have her, the world splits. I hold Miku in my arms and take her back to my realm. Yuki follows. I glance back at her and notice a stiff colorless doll in her thin arms.

* * *

Miku doesn't know where she is. The only other person in the room is Yuki, cradling her doll. Miku recognizes her. She falls to her knees and starts to sob. Yuki refuses to look up at her.

The only coherent words spilling through Miku's lips are "I'm sorry," over and over again. Yuki refuses to acknowledge it. She simply clutches her doll tighter.

When Miku stops crying, she looks around at the puddle her tears have made. She can see her reflection. As if coming to a full realization of who she is and what she's done, she screams from the deepest excesses of her soul.

A scream so powerful it provokes something inside me.

The first sensation of pain in my entire existence overflows through my core. This is Miku's essence. An arrow forged from regret and helplessness. A burst of sheer agony.

I have never shed tears. I didn't think it was possible. But these cold, icy droplets falling against my face can't be anything else. Of course, these are Miku's emotions, not mine. But, as if I were possessing her, there is no difference. Sorrowful heartbreak, blind rage, indestructible love, sinful regret. These are things I have never felt, yet I know exactly what they are and how they came to be.

Except for one. A trembling chill that I can only assume is fear. What is Miku afraid of? There is no answer to that. The next logical question is...what am  _I_ afraid of?

When I begin to regain my composure and stand upright, I can see a drastic change in the scene before me. The shimmering puddles have mixed with crimson. Miku has pulled her knees toward her chest and dropped her head against them, her scream softened to a continuous moan. Her arms, now sloppily slashed and bleeding into the puddle, are locked around her similarly marked legs. Her fingernails seem more blunt, trapping bits of flesh and blood.

Now, Yuki looks up and sets her doll on the floor. She approaches Miku with a brisk walk, her expression unchanged. Then, the first word is spoken, in her small, steady voice. "Mama."

Miku squeals and holds her legs tighter, her nails beginning to dig back into them.

Yuki acts as if she'd received a response. "Please don't lie to me, Mama." Without waiting, she turns back to retrieve her doll and bring it to Miku. She presents it with her arms stretched straight toward her mother. "Look, Mama. It's my first-place prize. Do you like it?"

For the first time since Miku was found, Yuki begins to smile warmly. At her kind, charming words, Miku lifts her head, her blank eyes gliding from Yuki to the doll in front of her. She nods.

"Talk to me, Mama. I've always wanted you to talk to me."

Gradually, Miku loosens herself and begins to converse. Yuki's eyes become brighter, more full of wonder. Miku finally starts to smile, even laugh a little. It doesn't take a genius to realize that they are becoming closer. This is not the outcome I expected, but this could work out. Their new bond may help create a world for me. Love can bring tragedy, but it can bring miraculous creation. Perhaps in this case, it has brought both.

But there is another possibility. Miku is a powerful soul. She is the only being in all time who has been able to bring about such a rush of painful emotion through me. It seems her power has also restored Yuki's sentiment in her, and Yuki's humanity as a whole. With her humanity, Yuki could recognize me and revolt against me, with her mother at her side. Or they could even flee my world into a more desirable afterlife. Surprisingly, the question that comes is not "How can I stop this?" It is "Am I willing to let this happen?"

The echoes of Miku's scream still linger inside me. Perhaps that is what makes me consider morality. Releasing Miku and Yuki wouldn't help me in anyway, and I am so close to finally succeeding in creating a world of my own. I don't want to be alone again, but a fragment of me is begging to sacrifice my opportunity, to show sympathy.

What are the long term consequences of that? On the Earth, people who show sympathy and compassion, people who give things up for "the greater good," typically end up achieving everything they want and more. Could that pattern apply? Could I create a world with a sense of morality alone?

It doesn't take long to come to a conclusion. And with that conclusion, I must begin immediately.

I approach the girls. "Yuki," I call, keeping my voice gentle. She definitely does not see me as a mother any longer, but she cannot stop me from acting like one.

Yuki tilts her head up at me. "What is it, Ia?"

She knows my name. Confidence passes through me. "I would like to speak to your mother alone," I answer. "I'm going to give her a gift. You will receive it in time. Take your baby doll with you."

"Can we stay in this world?" Yuki wraps her arms around her doll. "Mama is here, and she loves me again."

"I promise you will not be separate, my dear."

With that, Yuki agrees and leaves me to turn to Miku, whose smile has faded. Before I speak, she asks in a low voice, "What do you need?"

My explanation comes immediately. "I have made a decision. You and Yuki had the misfortune of living those broken lives on Earth. You did not ask for or deserve the suffering. I believe that I can give you another chance."

"I only want to be with Yuki," Miku states. "Nothing else matters to me anymore."

"If I reincarnate you, I will give Yuki's reincarnation your company."

Miku's eyes light up, and she stands. "What do I need to do?" she demands.

"All you must do is agree. Then your new fate will be sealed. I will be straightforward." I take Miku's dry, bitten hands into mine. "Would you like to be reborn, or not?"

"Yes," Miku answers without a hint of hesitation, her grip on my hands tightening. "Let me be reborn."

I nod. "Then your wish is granted. And, please remember..." I give Miku a smile, which she mirrors gleefully. "You have done nothing wrong."

* * *

 

 

_**"͘͟͞.̵̛͘.̵̵.̛m͜a̛͠y͏̛͝b̶͜e̕͢͡."̶̴** _

__

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally got this over with rip....like comment and subscribe for more edgy messes
> 
> also the "doll" is yuki's corpse. idk if that was clear enough
> 
> also also i HATE having to type IA as "Ia" it looks like a lowercase l in this font it drives me nuts!


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